I’ve had a rough few weeks. As much as I would like this space to be positive and happy, I also want it to be true to my life and experiences, and I’m in a bit of a lull at the moment.
I was let go from the job I was so excited to have found in the Netherlands. Even though it wasn’t perfect, I was confident that the work I had done was great and I was happy to work through the problems that arose. So it came as a complete shock when the co-owners decided to let me go. Even though they said it was everything to do with the timing and time commitment and nothing to do with my work, it was a still a huge hit to my self confidence.
I’ve been living in the Netherlands for 10 months, and this was the first time I really felt homesick. I wanted a hug from my mom. I wanted get my smiley niece out of bed and play with her. I wanted to play strategy games. I wanted to sit on my friends’ couch and watch american football. I wanted to be in a place where things were easy and simple.
I gave myself some time and space to heal. I didn’t push myself to get back to my social activities, like bootcamp, right away. I caught up on the new seasons of some of my favourite TV shows. I spent more than my usual time video chatting with friends and family in Canada. It wasn’t the same as being there in person, but it was a nice reminder that those friendships are still there despite the distance.
I got back into the weekly schedule I’d put together for myself the first time around, which included job searching, blogging, chores, and running. By the second week, I was feeling a lot more positive about myself and my capabilities as a person.
Then, this past Saturday after my post-run shower, I bent down to squeegee the floor and stood up too quickly. I’ve seen stars before after getting up too quickly, but I guess my blood sugar or blood pressure was too low, and this time I fainted, fell and hit my head pretty hard.
I’m fairly certain I gave myself a minor concussion. I was nauseous and dizzy, and there was a giant goose egg forming on the back of my head. An ice pack helped with the swelling, and the nausea and dizziness have gotten better with time. I’m needing to give myself time and space to heal again, but I’m frustrated; all of my homesickness is back.
So this week, I’m going to apply the lessons I learned three weeks ago and be easy on myself and my body. I’ll take small breaks from my job search and applications. I’ll try to be easy on myself if I can’t keep up with the schedule I planned for my blog posts. Rather than running, I’ll go for walks. I’ll keep video chatting with my friends and family in Canada. And I’ll look forward to my trip to Canada in December!
Have you ever had to deal with homesickness? How did you cope?